“…and the wisdom to know the difference”

A few thoughts and notes. Life is not meant to be easy. It is uncertain and unpredictable, but we need to embrace the uncertainty rather than fear it. Paradoxically we tend not to have as much control over the things we think we do, yet we do have control over certain things we feel we don’t. Most the time, we carry on not giving a thought or care to what may be — masters of our destiny. But then something very unexpected and completely beyond our control happens — and the world gets turned upside down. We have no control over the event, but we do have the power to decide how to react to it and deal with it. The largest element of this is our emotions. Even without an upside down event, we are mostly powerless over the type, quantity, and quality of the thoughts we have. However, we do have control and are responsible for the actions based on those thoughts. Until we can, understand and manage our emotions, we’ll always be a slave to them — and this is where we do have control. This is where acceptance comes in. Once we accept our conditions we can deal with our conditions and the change they present. The only absolute in life is change. Either we become an instrument of change and we move with it, preferably in a graceful and effortless way, or become a victim of change, constantly wondering “where in the hell did that come from”, and resisting it at every step. When we accept the uncertainties, are present and aware, we minimize the surprises that are going to take place in our life and business. We learn how to accept the unknown but are present enough to anticipate change, which increases our anticipatory skills to adapt to change. Furthermore acceptance is a true short-cut to the wisdom of the ancient mindfulness trainings. In a two-week mindfullness study, the key stress lowering component was the acceptance of the present moment, and whatever uncomfortable emotions it may bring up. From the Carnegie Mellon University study, “In the Buddhist paradigm, monitoring (of one’s internal state) leads to sensory clarity and insight, whereas acceptance reduces craving and aversion, the necessary causes for suffering.” The wisdom of the ancient equation and the strength of acceptance is strongly confirmed by the lab results! In the study, one group followed “sensory clarity”, whereby the were taught to notice subtle sensation physical (muscle tightness, temperature, fatigue…) and emotional (fear, impatience, enthusiasm…). Another group added the component of acceptance, or equanimity, who were instructed to “mentally welcome all physical and emotional body experiences” and then describe them using “a gentle matter of fact tone”. Whereas a third group was taught a completely different method focusing on “letting their minds drift” and “analyze and solve personal problems”. However, only the group that utilized monitoring and acceptance experienced significantly lower levels of cortisol, concluding that just simply focusing on the present moment isn’t enough to quell stress — an attitude of acceptance and equanimity is essential.

Related: Truth, Honesty, Flow, Ease, Grace

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